I woke up this morning and just wanted to quit. I don't feel well, I am tired, I am sore from working about, I am overwhelmed, I don't think I can do this, I messed up all weekend eating whatever I wanted, did I mention I didn't feel good. I am just so sad. I have not writtten in my blog for 3 days and it feels like a lifetime. I have been screaming inside my head all morning. Spoiled little brat is going crazy inside my mind. So I am writing this all out, to let the child have her say and then I am going to ignore her until she settles down. UGH, it is like ants crawling on your skin.
So, I am looking at what is real or TRUE and what is not. I don't feel well (true nose running, head hurts--ok drink water and take vitamin c and aspirin). I am tired (true, I am not sleeping well- try melation tonight and stop hiding by taking naps). I am sore from working out, if I don't work out in the morning I don't have to work out later (really really Barb, three days ago I felt alive when I was a little sore, just because I need more sleep and did not wake up at 430am to work out, I think I can find 40 minutes to lift weights today). Blogging(doing it now, already feeling better). Maybe I just needed to whine a little bit. LOL. I always do this "balls to the walls" until I break. I am smarter than this. I just need to stop and think. IT IS NOT a failure to just STOP and THINK. I tell my kids to do it so why don't I? I am going to make a list. I am going to remember that not everything needs to be marked off the list or am I a bad person for not getting EVERYTHING done. It is ok.
What I learned over the last three days. PLAN PLAN PLAN. I throw most things to the wind when I went to work Friday. The family had two parties to go to, I didn't plan those well either. If it is social, I eat. Planning would have helped and I can say no. My friends will not dislike me if I don't eat everything. Water, I am pretty sure being outside, I got dehyrated. Be Smarter Barb.
Positive things that happen in the three days. I worked out 6 out of 7 days the first week of Body for Life. I am much more mindful about eating when I am home. I enjoyed seeing friends. It made my heart feel less lonely. It was a good weekend. My little brat seems quieter now.
I am going to put workout bench together to work out tonight. I will drink water today, no pretending with pretend soda water. I am going to plan meals for the week. I am going to smile. I can do this.
I am Super but not Superwoman. I am pretty sure sometimes she didn't want to work out also. :)
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